Friday, 4 May 2012

Seven Types of Audiobook


The Etymologicon is out as an audiobook, complete and unabridged and various other synonyms. It's read by Simon Shepherd and can be obtained from Amazon, Audible, AudiogoMr W.H., and iTunes. And here, for your delectation and delight, is a sample.

To celebrate this leap into the audible, here's one of my favourite ambiguous sentences.

I didn't say she stole my money.

It doesn't look ambiguous, does it? Looks like a simple statement. However, it is ambiguous when it's read aloud (hence the connection). Depending on which word you stress, the sentence has seven distinct meanings.


"I didn't say she stole my money." =  "Somebody else made that accusation."

"I DIDN'T say she stole my money." = "That statement was never made."

"I didn't SAY she stole my money." = "I kept quiet about the theft."

"I didn't say SHE stole my money." = "It was the man on the grassy knoll."

"I didn't say she STOLE my money." = "She certainly obtained it, but did not steal it."

"I didn't say she stole MY money." = "I accused her of stealing somebody else's money."

"I didn't say she stole my MONEY." = "But she did steal my socks. And I want them back."

As that is exactly the sort of sentence that might be uttered in court, you should take all transcripts of trials with a pinch of salt; or buy the audiobook.

7 comments:

  1. And an eighth, which works whichever word you stress:

    "I forgot to mention that she stole my money."

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  2. Hats off to you, Sire! And may this be the first of many, many more to come.

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  3. Any chance that it will be available in Audible US?

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  4. Not sure actually. I assume you could get it delivered by post, although that might be slow. If you're downloading it then I suspect you can just do that from iTunes or Amazon or whatever.

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  5. You know about INKOZ?
    NIKKI_ 2290?
    You know NSTINKS?
    NICKST to NICANEME?
    SYN SEA 7 lost that THREAL with THESTAL.
    That made ANDERSU very SADCO with NESHIPS.
    DWYT- DWASS- SCHAR , too.
    QUEDSO now DECONC!
    CONCOMM - CONSTARS- CONNICARS- COMETS!
    All FREDOZZEL in METTETAL!
    Now they got FACALL- FPALL- FAMAK- FAMIT- FEMPO!
    You INKY FOOL!
    You INKY FOOL!
    Now you got the movie " KK" - CANNES!

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  6. I had no choice but to buy the ETYMOLOGICON. Firstly, the aura of magic from H P Lovecraft's NECRONOMICON. Secondly, the delightful red cover. And of course it was about the origins of words.
    It is of course a book. I want books. I want words in a book which I can hold in my hand, not the popping of electrons in a digital device. It is a book.
    And the content is lively, engaging and often novel (and I have read many books on this topic. Congratulations!
    My only lament is that each chapter and each words lead not merely to the next chapter but to more words which could have appeared. So the hairy-breeched Gauls wore bracas which became French bragues which led to braguettes and brackets. But the Gauls have thereby become purveyors of underwear to much of Europe. Bracas (still going strong in Italian) also gave us Spanish bragas and bragitas, German Bruch and Dutch breuk, and the English breeches. These appear in Scottish as breeks and American as britches. Long live the Gauls!

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