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The Most Popular Posts of the Inky Fool
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This post has already gone up twice; but, as it's the one on which I worked hardest, and as this blog is always gaining and losing adh... -
Just a brief post as I'm running round the country giving talks (Booka Books in Oswestry tonight). I met a German-speaking lady in Edin...
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Because of all the attention this post is getting, I ought to point out that I was not intending to disclose some outrageous Orwellian con...
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I've been staying in the flat of an American friend and found amongst his books an American-English dictionary . It is a slim volume, a... -
A poop-noddy is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as: Sexual intercourse (rare) I don't know about you, dear reader, but I... -
Here is the updated list of the fifty most quoted lines of poetry on the internet, including all the readers' suggestions. We started ... -
If I wish to do an impression of a Chinese chap, I will not allow myself to be hampered by the fact that I don't speak a word of Mandar... -
Pluto was the god of the underworld. He was also the god of wealth. That is why we have plutocracy (government by the wealthy), plutocrats ... -
Back when I was writing The Horologicon , there was one word that I desperately wanted to include. But I couldn't because I didn't ...
But if you think the south is dank
ReplyDeletewe'll take the circle line to Bank
The Circle Line's no circle true
DeleteThese days it's shaped like a lasso.
So, where's the bus I hear you ask
ReplyDeleteIt's over there but you'll need a mask
But once you're visored, masked and gloved,
DeleteIn Pimlico you can be loved.
So, misery my love, let's go
DeleteAnd circle back to Pimlico.
A Robin Reliant is hard to beat,
ReplyDeleteWhen driving at 90 up Knightrider Street.
Such car-based recklessness appals
DeleteThe dean and chapter of St Pauls.
Little did the driver know it would cost her,
DeleteSo much to do a pit stop in the Paternoster.
It was indeed her final thought
DeleteSmashing into Amen Court.
‘Court or caught?’ she wondered gaily,
DeleteCuffed and rushed to the Old Bailey.
Where Justice with her scales and sword
DeleteMade sure her licence was restored.
Scales and sword are fishy plates,
DeleteDid Justice move to Billingsgate?!
A horticulturist’s resolve must very soon harden,
ReplyDeleteWhen mowing the lawn in Savage Gardens.
Looking after Granny, I quickly lost her,
ReplyDeleteWhilst getting to grips with some old Cockfosters.
Ladies of the night have little to gain,
ReplyDeleteWhen flaunting their wares on Cold Blow Lane.
It’s fair to say that in High Barnet,
ReplyDeleteA very short haircut is hard to get.
How can I go to where I'm at?
ReplyDeleteI've been here since I left mum's twat!